Dual working parents are common and grandparents become the best “supporting carers”
It is exciting and joyful to have a new little one in the family. But it is also a challenge for the family members to adapt to the change of family structure and their new roles, as well as to bring up the child with proper education and nurture.
“We were all so thrilled when Sze Yeung was born. However, I also felt stressed and worried as it was my first time to be a ‘grandma’. After all, I have not taken care of newborn babies for many years,” Sze Yeung’s grandma recalled being both excited and nervous when her granddaughter came as a new member in the family.
In recent years, dual working parents have become very common and it is difficult for them to take care of their newborn babies all around the clock. Therefore, the grandparents are stepping up to look after the children in many families. This is the same case for Sze Yeung’s family, and Sze Yeung’s grandma went as far as to resign from her job. She has been sending Sze Yeung to day crèche and taking care of her for the rest of the days.
Parent @ Super Start Project strives to bring solutions to generational differences in parenting
Sze Yeung’s grandma understands that society develops over time, and people also take care of children differently. “Since I had not taken care of a newborn baby for a long time, I felt very nervous. Specifically, the society nowadays has higher standard for the safety of baby food. Back then when my kids were sick, I would buy them Bo Ying Compound and Hou Tsao Powder at the pharmacy, but parents nowadays don’t do this anymore. Since the two generations have different caring practices or expectations for babies, conflicts might occur.”
“At Sze Yeung’s day crèche, we learned about Parent @ Super Start Project which aims to strengthen the parenting skills of parents and carers with different group activities. So I participated in the Grandparents Group,” Sze Yeung’s grandma said.
HKSPC’s Parent @ Super Start Project aims to provide parental support and parenting education services to families with children aged 0 to 3, and to relieve the pressure and difficulties faced by parents in nurturing their children. The project provides different group activities for young children, parents and grandparents to cater the social and emotional development of young children, teach professional parenting skills and enhance carers’ knowledge in parenting. The project wishes to foster the cooperation between families and our day crèches to achieve all-round development of young children.
Sze Yeung’s grandma attended 6 lessons for Grandparents Group and 4 lessons for Children’s Attachment and Emotional Development Group. The social workers helped the grandparents to learn various professional parenting methods and skills through lecturing, teaching, hands-on experience and role-playing in the groups, conveying the following messages to them:
1. Communicating and respecting between two generations to achieve consistent parenting style
It is common in many families that the two generations have different parenting and nurturing styles, causing conflicts between them and confusion to the children. Therefore, the Grandparents Group taught the grandparents on how to achieve consistent parenting with their next generation, including effective communication and understanding, laying out everyone’s role, understanding each other’s strengths and establishing a family agreement.
“Now, we discuss and listen to each other when we face any parenting problems, and I actively share the skills that I learned from the parent groups in order to bring the best care to Sze Yeung,” Sze Yeung’s grandma said.
2. Establishing secure attachment to solve children’s separation anxiety
Very often, grandparents are reluctant to leave and try to comfort the children immediately when they see the children appear to have separation anxiety. However, if the carers overprotect and stay with the children all the time, the children may become too dependent and afraid to explore on their own, which could even hinder their social development.
“Sze Yeung has been very dependent and lacked a sense of security since she was born. She always cried badly whenever I or her parents walked away or were out of her sight. Now, we have learned how to deal with her separation anxiety problem and make her feel secured by telling her beforehand that I am walking away and will be back, like, ‘I am going to the kitchen now and will come back in five minutes.’ She feels safe and calm when she knows why I am leaving and when I will be back,” Sze Yeung’s grandma learned the techniques of building a sense of security for children from the parenting groups.
3. Praising children concretely and precisely to boost their self-confidence and sense of satisfaction
Researches found that praising and encouraging children appropriately can greatly enhance their self-confidence and sense of satisfaction, and even motivate them to challenge themselves. While doing this in the wrong way might cause negative effects, the Grandparents Group teaches grandparents on how to praise and encourage the children correctly.
“Parents in my generation seldom praise their children as they thought it would make them become arrogant. Even if we praised our children, we just said ‘well done’ at most. But in the parenting group, I understood the importance of praise and encouragement, as well as doing this correctly by expressing what she has done well concretely and precisely. For example, I would say ‘I am so happy to see Sze Yeung can tidy up the toys by herself’,” Sze Yeung’s grandma realized that it is easier for the children to comprehend what they have done properly through the precise appreciation.
4. Making expectations clear to correct children’s behavioral problems
Sometimes when their children misbehave, parents and carers might try to stop them immediately by shouting at them. However, this cannot correct children’s behavioral problems effectively and even ruins their parent-child relationship.
“Back then when we saw Sze Yeung misbehaved, we would just tell her to stop immediately. After attending the parenting groups, I learned to comprehend the rationales of her misbehaviors and explain to her clearly about what she has done wrong and what to do is correct. For example, I would say, ‘The sofa is not a trampoline. The sofa is a piece of furniture for us to sit and rest on, so you should not jump on it. Instead, you should always sit quietly on the sofa.’ After our repeated guidance and encouragement, Sze Yeung began to understand our expectations and her behavioral problems have been improving,” Sze Yeung’s grandma knows how to handle Sze Yeung’s misbehaviours now.
5. Adapting to the changes in role and building a new social circle
Some grandparents resign from their jobs to take care of the children full-time. Not only do they face the challenges of parenting, but they also have to adapt to the changes in their role and social circle. Here at the parenting groups of Parent @ Super Start Project, the grandparents can build a new social circle by making new friends of similar age and background.
“I had worked for more than ten years at my previous job and I had a group of very close friends at the workplace. I felt very uncomfortable when I quit my job, as if I had lost a long-established social circle. Fortunately, I made some new friends who are also grandparents in the parenting groups. We often exchange parenting experiences, and we also care about and encourage each other,” Sze Yeung’s grandma is happy to make new friends in the parenting groups.
Bringing professional educare techniques to home and fostering the growth and development of children together
“Parent @ Super Start Project allowed me to learn many practical parenting skills in different group activities. Although the parenting style nowadays is different, I am able to help my son to take care of Sze Yeung properly. Sze Yeung is now one and a half years old and we are really grateful to see her growing and developing day by day,” Sze Yeung’s grandma expressed her appreciation on how the project has helped her family.
Parent @ Super Start Project – Positive Parenting Programme
Parents and carers’ parenting knowledge and careful nurturing are essential to children to grow healthy and happy. Therefore, this year Parent @ Super Start Project has designed a two-year positive parenting programme for the parents of our day crèche children. The programme consists of 20 lessons in total and there will be lecturing session and parent-child session in each lesson, covering all kinds of parenting techniques. We wish to share the positive and systematic parenting techniques to parents and let them bring professional educare to home.
Positive Parenting Programme |
First Year Programme |
Building sense of security and parent-child relationship |
Quality parent-child time |
Baby temperament |
Change of relationship between husband and wife after baby is born |
Roles of family members and self-coordination |
Principles of promoting good behaviours in infant |
Home safety |
Stranger anxiety in babies and infant |
Parent-child communication methods before one year old |
Children’s separation anxiety |
Second Year Programme |
Quality parent-child time |
Coordination between parents to foster the development of young children |
Principles of promoting good behaviours in young children |
Shared responsibilities of family members and sense of belonging of children |
ABC model of children behaviour analysis |
Enhancing young children’s communicating motivation |
Developing young children’s social abilities |
Correcting children’s unwanted behaviours |
Children’s emotional behaviours and roles of parents |
Tips on preparing for kindergarten |
In addition, we understand that families require the cooperation between different members in order to provide comprehensive care to the children. Therefore, Parent @ Super Start Project will organise the Parenting Programme for Grandparents this year which consists 10 lessons in total, taking every family member into account and help them care for the children at their very best.
Parenting Programme for Grandparents |
What is parenting and grandparents' roles in caring for children |
How to encourage good behaviours in children with praise |
Love but not spoil |
Establishing reasonable expectations to children |
Skills of playing with children |
Establishing consistent parenting |
Home safety |
How to make reading more interesting |
Handling children’s misbehaviours - Using simple instructions |
Handling children’s misbehaviours - Responding to feelings |
Lastly, Parent @ Super Start Project is planning to organise more parent-child activities for the parents with children aged 0 to 3 this year to promote the importance of children’s growth and development in public and community levels, to relieve the pressure of the parents and carers in parenting by building supporting networks through the activities, and to benefit more needy families in the society.
Parent-child Activities | Parent-child Activities |
Parent-child play activities | Messy Play Carnival, Parent-child Yoga |
Parent-child emotion activities | Sensory Processing Activity Day, Experiencing Expressive Arts Therapy, Making Sensory Processing Bottles |
Parent-child cooking activities | Christmas Serradura Pudding Workshop, Christmas Snowman Rice Ball Workshop |
Parent relaxing activities | Harmony Pastel, Mindfulness |
Supporting Parent @ Super Start Project to benefit more needy families
Parent @ Super Start Project is committed to providing parent support and parenting education services to families with children aged 0 to 3, and to relieve the pressure and difficulties faced by parents in nurturing their newborn children. In the future, we wish to promote the service to the community level and benefit more families in need with parent-child activities for the parents with children aged 0 to 3 (such as Sensory Processing Activity Day, Experiencing Expressive Arts Therapy, Messy Play Carnival and Parent-child Yoga).
Service Overview
Our Work Achievements | |
Service Name | Parent @ Super Start Project – Parent support and parenting education project to the families with children aged 0 to 3 |
Service Period | January 2019 to Present |
Service Group | Children and parents who are using our day crèche service |
Children and parents who are on waiting list for our day crèche service | |
Children aged 0 to 3 and their carers | |
Community members | |
No. of Beneficiary Families | 912 families (1,256 people) |
No. of Service Sessions | 87 sessions |
2019-2020 Service Goal: | |
To provide a total of 100 sessions of positive parenting activities and 50 sessions of parenting lessons for grandparents, serving more than 1,500 attendance. |
If you / your organisation are interested in supporting Parent @ Super Start Project or have any enquiries, please contact Ms Angel Tse at 3184 6695 or email to pass@hkspc.org.